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We feel emotional pain when we do not get what we want, need, or expect. We might feel hurt, rejection, bitterness, abuse, injustice or simply emotional pain.
In such cases, we have not received the behavior or outcomes we expected or believed we deserved.
We feel this kind of feel pain in cases when * people * do not behave to us in the ways that we had expected as well as in situations where * life * does not give us what we feel we need or deserve.
We believe, “I cannot feel happy unless I get that which I believe I need.”
We have associated our security, satisfaction, self-worth or freedom with something that we are not getting from persons, society, God, or life as a whole.
Some examples might be when:
- Others lie to or deceive us.
- They do not support us when we need them.
- They reject or criticize us.
- We fail at some task, which we feel that we should have succeeded at.
- We loose a loved one.
- Our loved one shows preference to another.
- People important to us do not show us the respect we expect.
- Others do harm to us or our loved ones.
- We are accused of doing or saying something we did not do.
- When are falsely suspected of having ulterior motives.
- “Friends” gossip about us behind our backs.
- We are not given the raise of promotion we believe we deserve at work.
- Others do not keep their agreements with us.
- We are robbed.
- We lose our fortune in some way.
You can add many more situations in which we feel hurt because we have not received the respect, love, affection, loyalty, truth, kindness and justice that we were expecting.
** Positive Alternatives to Feeling Hurt **
Positive alternatives to feeling hurt, bitterness and injustice could be:
- We can have Faith * in divine wisdom and justice.
We are all in a process of evolution and nothing can happen to us, which is not exactly what we need in order to learn our next lesson. So rather than be overwhelmed by negative feelings, we can seek to discover what we can learn through this experience.
Our lessons usually have to do with discovering the strength, security and self-worth, which are within us. As souls in the process of evolution, we are constantly being directed to contact and bring to the surface our spiritual self.
This means realizing that we are whole within and can feel safe, worthy and fulfilled regardless of what is happening around us.
Thus, every event which might cause us to feel pain is also a great opportunity to contact our inner spiritual self and move on and beyond this pain.
- We are the sole creators of our reality.
We as souls create our reality through:
a. Our past choices, thoughts, words and actions. b. Our present conscious and subconscious beliefs, feelings and needs. c. The lessons we have chosen to learn at this stage of our evolutionary process. d. How we subjectively interpret what is happening.
Thus others are simply actors in the scenarios of our life the script of which we have written. We can create a happier reality by:
a. Transforming our conscious and subconscious beliefs. b. Learning our life lessons. c. Interpreting events in a different way ? as opportunities for growth rather than as injustices.
- Forgiving and forgetting the past.
In light of what we have said aboveFree Web Content, others are not responsible for our reality and thus can easily be forgive. Such forgiveness frees us from negative feelings and allows us to transcend pain.
Thus we can overcome emotional pain by:
- Realizing that every event is exactly what we need for our evolutionary process.
- Learn the lessons involved.
- Forgive others and ourselves.
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Stress takes many forms in our business lives. Exactly what it is very hard to define, but two statements seem to me to sum up the main cause and effect:
o The fear that more is expected of you than you can reasonably achieve.
o A feeling - real or imagined - that you are out of control and cannot regain the right track.
Who gets it? Everyone is susceptible, no-one is immune. However, some people deal with it more effectively. Over the years I have studied many people who seem to be able to thrive on stress - or have mastered the knack of shucking off the effects - and have formulated a ten-part plan to help others cope.
Why stress is so damaging?
o Health: long term stress can severely affect a persons health. The immune system is damaged, the nervous system is impaired and susceptibility to minor (and sometimes major) illnesses increases.
o Emotions: when under relentless and unmanageable stress, a persons self-worth is impaired. Relationships suffer and positive planning becomes very difficult.
o Performance: of course, when under long-term stress at work, the ability to function at peak levels diminishes. How can we be expected to give 110% if our minds and bodies are slowly shutting down through endless misuse? Typically, a highly stressed person, who is not managing it well, will subconsciously develop behaviors that attempt to minimize exposure to more stress:
o A fear to act - procrastination o Fear of failure o Avoidance of the issues o Withdrawal from ‘the cutting edge’
The result? You get sidelined and passed over for the next person who deals with the pressures better.
Not all stress is bad. Some can be beneficial, but only when kept in the right proportion.
Most people getting up to give a public presentation feel a high degree of stress. Those who are not paralyzes with fear often say that the pressure gave their talk an edge. That the adrenaline pumping made them sharp.
How many business people do you know who write documents and presentations weeks in advance? Hardly any, I bet. Most prefer to leave things until the last minute to ‘be at their sharpest.’ And it is true that when under the right amount of pressure, the mind tends to clear and we see to the very heart of the problem.
People who manage stress best seem to be able to manage the causes of stress, ensuring that too many situations do not develop at once. Because however positive some stresses may be, pile a whole lot of them up at the same time and you still are heading for a nervous breakdown.
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Effective communication in business is not about creating the perfect PowerPoint presentation. It’s not about writing the perfectly-pitched report. It’s not even about assiduously alliterating .
Sometimes effectively communicating in business can hinge on something really simple——the habits you bring to your interactions with others.
As we all know, we all have habitual behaviours that we carry around with us and use unconsciously. It could be the “um” you sandwich between every fourth word of your presentation. It could be the nervous ‘fig-leaf’ gestures of your hands. It could be your constant swaying and looking away from your audience, as if you should be somewhere else far more important right at that moment.
Whoever you are, whilst you may know your facts inside-out, whilst your work ethic is the standard by which others are measured, if you don’t recognise and work on your personal presentation habits you might eventually destroy all that you have strived so hard to achieve.
Whatever your particular habit is, you can best find out what it is by two great methods:
Ask your colleagues what you do in face-to-face encountersthat annoys them
Have someone video a presentation to a group that you give
We all have a communication habit that works against us in some small way. But the challenge we face is that, left unattended, they start adding up. The more you have, the more unprofessional you look.
Here’s eight interpersonal communication blunders that can wreck your career over time:
Owning a weak handshake: A weak handshake signals uncertainty, hesitation, a lack of integrity, a lack of confidence and a lack of courage. It quite possibly also triggers subconscious responses in the recipient that cause them to focus more and for longer on your handshake than on your message. To butcher Nike’s slogan, “Just don’t do it!”
Displaying a nervous giggle: Just like a weak handshake, the nervous giggle, in the eyes and mind of your audience, turns you into a child. No one seriously does business with a child.
Over-using “I’m sorry”: A ‘killer’ for undermining your authority, a phrase like, “I need your report on my desk by 5 o’clock, sorry” just knocks your professionalism, your communication and your career for six. You have no need to apologise if you are the boss or the client. There is a place for politeness in business, as there are for courtesy and humility. But in the shark-eat-shark world of nature and business, there is no room for the weak and mousy. Sorry to have to break that to you…
Standing passively: Crossed arms, crossed legs… they signal just one thing—u—detachment, as if you really don’t want to be there, listening to the other person, but you have to. Passively standing kicks down the building bricks of trust, over time reducing your career reputation to rubble.
Avoiding eye contact: Whilst too much staring at someone can cause discomfort, so can too little. By not looking at your audience (of one of one thousand) in the eye, you come across as nervous and insincere. A reasonable period of eye contact is between 4 and 7 seconds at a time, per person, especially when you are talking to them.
Playing with your hands: Wringing your hands, or playing ‘fig leaf’ is a sure way of conveying insecurity about yourself or your message. And recently I was reminded by my Toastmasters club colleagues of a habit of mine that I need to break——twisting my wedding ring around my finger when I present. My colleagues found themselves focusing more on my ring-twiddling than my message.
Speaking too softly: A habit that is a sure sign in the eyes of others, that you are not confident about yourself, your message or your authority to deliver it. You come across as near-invisible, weak and insubstantial, as well as make yourself difficult to be heard by those who are hard of hearing. And as I get older, my hearing is definately getting worse—u—a legacy of spending years in front of PA stacks as a lighting manager for rock bands.
Using qualifying words: This is quite possibly one of the worst habits anyone could have. Absolutely nearly everyone qualifies their words, and most often the effect is to dilute the power and impact of your message. Seriously, using words such as “kind of”Free Web Content, “sort of” and “maybe” make even the smartest of us appear unsure.
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The holidays are coming soon. Get … now, and you’ll have plenty of time to spend with your family. With … that needs to be done … the holiday season, it is very easy to feel
The holidays are coming soon. Get organized now, and you’ll have plenty of time to spend with your family. With everything that needs to be done throughout the holiday season, it is very easy to feel overwhelmed and stressed. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a simple system that would help you get your holiday season organized?
Start with a family meeting. Family meetings are perfect for organizing things from chore schedules to parties. It’s also the perfect time for everyone to keep in touch with each other. Schedule one or two per holiday season. Start now for Thanksgiving and schedule another one for Christmas before the end of November. Schedule a call-free hour for each planning session and let the answering machine field calls. Planning early will give everyone something fun to look forward to.
Don’t overbook your schedule. Pick the things you enjoy doing the most, and focus on them. This way, you’ll have plenty of additional time for yourself and your family.
Purchase a five section divided notebook (or use pages from your personal organizer). Title each of the dividers as follows: Holiday Schedule, Gifts, Meals, Parties, and Extras.
In the Holiday Schedule section of your notebook, paste in a calendar page for the month of December. This section will be the center of all holiday activities. That is why it is so important to have a family meeting, making sure everybody gets to do and participate in what he/she likes best. On this page keep track of all holiday events and parties, including school programs, concerts, and work parties. Remember to include your favorite television specials and family traditions such as viewing the Live Nativity or the Christmas Light Tour. Don’t forget getting the Christmas tree and decorating the house.
In the same section of your notebook number the pages from 1 to 31 and use these pages as your daily calendar. As the month progresses you will appreciate the open spaces of the daily calendar for scheduling events and activities. Remember to schedule in shopping for gifts along with wrapping and mailing them. This would be a good spot to schedule in Christmas cards, too, writing them and getting them into the mail.
In the Gift section of your notebook write a heading across each page as needed. Kid’s Wish List requires a page for each child. Copy directly from their list or paste it in. Gift Ideas should be a couple of pages devoted to jotting down gift ideas as they come up while shopping, watching TV or talking to someone. Stocking Stuffer Ideas should follow the same format as gift ideas but jotting down stocking stuffer ideas instead. The Master Gift List is the key to your budget and your sanity. On the Master gift list use a page for each person or group of people (people from work, nieces and nephews, etc.) and keep track of what you actually buy and how much you spend. This is the key to making sure you don’t forget anybody, that you don’t spend too much, and that your spending is balanced.
Use this section of your notebook to plan your holiday meals and to plan your baking and candy making. Title each section accordingly. Jot down the menu for your holiday dinner and make out your shopping list. Check your baking and candy recipes and make out your shopping list. If you have other special holiday items just add them here: decorative paper plates and napkins, Hickory Farms for unexpected guests, eggnog, a trip to the liquor store. Keep track of everything you need here and you won’t be making second and third trips to the store for forgotten items.
This section is good whether you are planning a party, going to a party or both. Include sections on Decorations (what you will use, where they are, additional items you will need to purchase), Guest List, Food and Beverages (plan here for potluck parties you are invited to as well as the menu for your party), Preparation (what needs to be done and who is going to do it–try to divide responsibilities evenly), Invitations and Wardrobe Planner (make sure you have all the accessories as well as your main outfit for each occasion).
This section of your notebook will include the Holiday Chore List. This is a place to list all of the extras that need to be done for the holidays: extra cleaning, getting the guest room ready, putting up the outside decorations, etc. Remember to schedule time sensitive chores onto your daily calendar in section one. The family meeting is a good place to discuss these extras and to divvy them up.
The Extras section is also a good spot for your Christmas Decorations inventory. Jot down items that you remember from last year that you need: extra lights, a bigger tree stand, new candles, etc. As you begin to decorate you can also add onto this list.
Planning your holiday season may seem like too much trouble, but the benefits of planning in advance are numerous: no double scheduling, no wasted shopping trips, no scrambling around trying to find last minute gifts, peace of mind knowing that you did everything you wanted to do most, and the joy of a no stress holiday season filled with friends, family and fun. And just thinkFree Web Content, next year you will have your holiday planner all set up and ready to go. Put this year’s planner in a safe place and bring it out next holiday season for another no stress holiday.
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A healthy diet and regular exercise program not only will improve your appearance, but it also can improve your health and decrease your risk of developing certain diseases. Recent studies by Harvard researchers have concluded that moderate exercise and a healthy diet can prevent most cases of type 2 diabetes - the most common form of diabetes. The study overwhelmingly indicated that by making the appropriate lifestyle changes, diabetes can be prevented over 90% of the time. The study also concluded that lifestyle changes significantly reduced the risk of getting the disease by 58% among people who already showed signs of developing diabetes.
Type 2 diabetes accounts for over 90% of all diabetes cases. It occurs when your body can not properly utilize insulin in getting nutrients to your cells. This results in high levels of sugar in your blood. The number of cases of diabetes has been growing rapidly. Studies indicate that over 16 million Americans have some form of diabetes! Type 2 diabetes used to be considered a disease of the old, but not anymore. It is becoming much more prevalent in younger people and has recently been showing an alarming increase among young people.
Diabetes is a disease where your underlying genetic background is critical. If you have these genes and are at risk of developing diabetes, your lifestyle decisions very well may determine whether these genes become active or remain dormant.
What is most interesting is that Harvard researchers determined that 91% of cases among the people they studied could have been prevented by watching their weight, eating a healthy diet, moderate exercise, and not drinking and smoking. Being overweight is the number one reason people contract diabetes -61% of all cases are attributed to obesity and weight problems.
Some other interesting facts: Overweight women cut their risk by 24% simply by walking regularly. There is a direct correlation between the amount of exercise and instances of diabetes. The more exercise, the less instances. Those who did 7 or more hours a week of exercise had a 29% lower risk than those who did not exercise or exercised less than 30 minutes per week. Eating a diet that is high in fiber, low in fat and low in partially hydrogenated oils (french fries, commercial baked goods) also significantly decreases your risk. If you already do not do so, become a label reader!
Pepper may not just be for seasoning. Capsaicin is a paarotein compound found in pepper and peppers significantly lowers blood sugar levels and increases insulin levels. Researchers have not concluded if the pepper compound acts by increasing the release of insulin, or by slowing it’s breakdown. Large doses of aspirin also lower your blood sugar and is an effective treatment of diabetes, but researchers warn that that the large doses required have detrimental side effects (intestinal bleeding, dizziness, nausea) that outweigh the benefits.
There are many diseases and illnesses you have no control over, but type 2 diabetes is highly preventable by watching your weight, exercising, eating a healthy dietArticle Submission, and not smoking or drinking.
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