“Friendship improves happiness and abates misery by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.”
Interacting amiably with family and friends is a super stress reducer. Instead of our minds working overtime on worrisome problems, it is occupied with thoughts of other things and other people. There is less room left for anxieties and self-doubt. Good friendship is like good health - appreciate it while you have it.
“Life has no blessing like a prudent friend” - Euripides (BC)
“The only way to have a friend is to be one. . . A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Getting people to like you is the starting point, and it should be fairly easy to do. People have a basic need to be liked themselves, and by showing your appreciation of them, they will return your feelings. Praise given out sincerely is a great act of friendship. Be kind, pleasant, calm, and a good listener. Try to see the good, not the bad qualities in people. Smile.
“The rule of friendship means there should be mutual sympathy between them, each supplying what the other lacks and trying to benefit the other, always using friendly and sincere words.” - Buddha (BC)
As a friend, try to let an unfavorable incident or remark fly right over the top of your head. We all blurt out something stupid or do something regrettable at timesFeature Articles, and it’s so nice when the other acts as if it never happened. This is a dear friend.
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Making money is cool. Very cool. But the fact is that you can’t take it with you. As we live in the Information Age we must learn new skills AND take advantage of new
technologies to maximize our productivity.
We’re not working at the car factory any more.
First let me say this very clearly. I am NOT your Mother nor am I trying to put any guilt trips on you. But here’s a FACT. You will work better and achieve your goals faster if you are healthy and maintain that health. Not preaching, just practical.
There are some simple things you can do to improve yourself or to PREVENT losing your good health. And hey, if you are in your 20’s and think you are indestructible, look around at the 40 or 50 somethings. You’re heading there too.
The first thing we can do is TAKE BREAKS from the computer.
The Net is 24/7, you don’t HAVE to be. If you find yourself saying I’ll catch up on my sleep on the weekends you’re kidding yourself. Walk away for a few minutes every hour or so.
Good break habits today mean you can do more work tomorrow, whatever your work might be, and make more money.
The second thing is to avoid caffeine ADDICTION. The fact is that many of us use caffeine as a little pick me up and that’s OK from time to time. But when it becomes a lifestyle, WATCH OUT. Caffeine does lots of nasty things to your body if you get too much of it. Just use common sense and you should be good to go.
Third, use antioxidants. The world is changing every day.
And the only advancements in TECHNOLOGY have not been in the microchip! We now produce more potent vitamins and minerals than ever AND we know a lot more about what our bodies need. And I’m not talking about swallowing 100 pills a day either. Don’t live in a PIII world and take a 286 vitamin.
Fourth and last, we can do some moderate exercise. Yeah, I hear the boos. But hey, walk away from the keyboard once in a while and past the soda machine. There’s a world out there.
Get into it. Do something that you enjoy and is good for you. Your waist size is not the only measure of good health. Fitness counts too.
If you are in great shape now …. EXCELLENT! Make sure to review what you are doing from time to time and stay up to speed on what’s happening now. If you need to improve that’s no problem. Start where you can and in no time your productivity and clear thinking will amaze you. GO FOR THE GOLD in your careerFind Article, just make sure you can enjoy what you earn.
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We feel emotional pain when we do not get what we want, need, or expect. We might feel hurt, rejection, bitterness, abuse, injustice or simply emotional pain.
In such cases, we have not received the behavior or outcomes we expected or believed we deserved.
We feel this kind of feel pain in cases when * people * do not behave to us in the ways that we had expected as well as in situations where * life * does not give us what we feel we need or deserve.
We believe, “I cannot feel happy unless I get that which I believe I need.”
We have associated our security, satisfaction, self-worth or freedom with something that we are not getting from persons, society, God, or life as a whole.
Some examples might be when:
Others lie to or deceive us.
They do not support us when we need them.
They reject or criticize us.
We fail at some task, which we feel that we should have succeeded at.
We loose a loved one.
Our loved one shows preference to another.
People important to us do not show us the respect we expect.
Others do harm to us or our loved ones.
We are accused of doing or saying something we did not do.
When are falsely suspected of having ulterior motives.
“Friends” gossip about us behind our backs.
We are not given the raise of promotion we believe we deserve at work.
Others do not keep their agreements with us.
We are robbed.
We lose our fortune in some way.
You can add many more situations in which we feel hurt because we have not received the respect, love, affection, loyalty, truth, kindness and justice that we were expecting.
** Positive Alternatives to Feeling Hurt **
Positive alternatives to feeling hurt, bitterness and injustice could be:
We can have Faith * in divine wisdom and justice.
We are all in a process of evolution and nothing can happen to us, which is not exactly what we need in order to learn our next lesson. So rather than be overwhelmed by negative feelings, we can seek to discover what we can learn through this experience.
Our lessons usually have to do with discovering the strength, security and self-worth, which are within us. As souls in the process of evolution, we are constantly being directed to contact and bring to the surface our spiritual self.
This means realizing that we are whole within and can feel safe, worthy and fulfilled regardless of what is happening around us.
Thus, every event which might cause us to feel pain is also a great opportunity to contact our inner spiritual self and move on and beyond this pain.
We are the sole creators of our reality.
We as souls create our reality through:
a. Our past choices, thoughts, words and actions.
b. Our present conscious and subconscious beliefs, feelings and needs.
c. The lessons we have chosen to learn at this stage of our evolutionary process.
d. How we subjectively interpret what is happening.
Thus others are simply actors in the scenarios of our life the script of which we have written. We can create a happier reality by:
a. Transforming our conscious and subconscious beliefs.
b. Learning our life lessons.
c. Interpreting events in a different way ? as opportunities for growth rather than as injustices.
Forgiving and forgetting the past.
In light of what we have said aboveFree Web Content, others are not responsible for our reality and thus can easily be forgive. Such forgiveness frees us from negative feelings and allows us to transcend pain.
Thus we can overcome emotional pain by:
Realizing that every event is exactly what we need for our evolutionary process.
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Stress takes many forms in our business lives. Exactly what it is very hard to define, but two statements seem to me to sum up the main cause and effect:
o The fear that more is expected of you than you can reasonably achieve.
o A feeling - real or imagined - that you are out of control and cannot regain the right track.
Who gets it? Everyone is susceptible, no-one is immune. However, some people deal with it more effectively. Over the years I have studied many people who seem to be able to thrive on stress - or have mastered the knack of shucking off the effects - and have formulated a ten-part plan to help others cope.
Why stress is so damaging?
o Health: long term stress can severely affect a persons health. The immune system is damaged, the nervous system is impaired and susceptibility to minor (and sometimes major) illnesses increases.
o Emotions: when under relentless and unmanageable stress, a persons self-worth is impaired. Relationships suffer and positive planning becomes very difficult.
o Performance: of course, when under long-term stress at work, the ability to function at peak levels diminishes. How can we be expected to give 110% if our minds and bodies are slowly shutting down through endless misuse? Typically, a highly stressed person, who is not managing it well, will subconsciously develop behaviors that attempt to minimize exposure to more stress:
o A fear to act - procrastination
o Fear of failure
o Avoidance of the issues
o Withdrawal from ‘the cutting edge’
The result? You get sidelined and passed over for the next person who deals with the pressures better.
Not all stress is bad. Some can be beneficial, but only when kept in the right proportion.
Most people getting up to give a public presentation feel a high degree of stress. Those who are not paralyzes with fear often say that the pressure gave their talk an edge. That the adrenaline pumping made them sharp.
How many business people do you know who write documents and presentations weeks in advance? Hardly any, I bet. Most prefer to leave things until the last minute to ‘be at their sharpest.’ And it is true that when under the right amount of pressure, the mind tends to clear and we see to the very heart of the problem.
People who manage stress best seem to be able to manage the causes of stress, ensuring that too many situations do not develop at once. Because however positive some stresses may be, pile a whole lot of them up at the same time and you still are heading for a nervous breakdown.
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Effective communication in business is not about creating the perfect PowerPoint presentation. It’s not about writing the perfectly-pitched report. It’s not even about assiduously alliterating .
Sometimes effectively communicating in business can hinge on something really simple——the habits you bring to your interactions with others.
As we all know, we all have habitual behaviours that we carry around with us and use unconsciously. It could be the “um” you sandwich between every fourth word of your presentation. It could be the nervous ‘fig-leaf’ gestures of your hands. It could be your constant swaying and looking away from your audience, as if you should be somewhere else far more important right at that moment.
Whoever you are, whilst you may know your facts inside-out, whilst your work ethic is the standard by which others are measured, if you don’t recognise and work on your personal presentation habits you might eventually destroy all that you have strived so hard to achieve.
Whatever your particular habit is, you can best find out what it is by two great methods:
Ask your colleagues what you do in face-to-face encountersthat annoys them
Have someone video a presentation to a group that you give
We all have a communication habit that works against us in some small way. But the challenge we face is that, left unattended, they start adding up. The more you have, the more unprofessional you look.
Here’s eight interpersonal communication blunders that can wreck your career over time:
Owning a weak handshake: A weak handshake signals uncertainty, hesitation, a lack of integrity, a lack of confidence and a lack of courage. It quite possibly also triggers subconscious responses in the recipient that cause them to focus more and for longer on your handshake than on your message. To butcher Nike’s slogan, “Just don’t do it!”
Displaying a nervous giggle: Just like a weak handshake, the nervous giggle, in the eyes and mind of your audience, turns you into a child. No one seriously does business with a child.
Over-using “I’m sorry”: A ‘killer’ for undermining your authority, a phrase like, “I need your report on my desk by 5 o’clock, sorry” just knocks your professionalism, your communication and your career for six. You have no need to apologise if you are the boss or the client. There is a place for politeness in business, as there are for courtesy and humility. But in the shark-eat-shark world of nature and business, there is no room for the weak and mousy. Sorry to have to break that to you…
Standing passively: Crossed arms, crossed legs… they signal just one thing—u—detachment, as if you really don’t want to be there, listening to the other person, but you have to. Passively standing kicks down the building bricks of trust, over time reducing your career reputation to rubble.
Avoiding eye contact: Whilst too much staring at someone can cause discomfort, so can too little. By not looking at your audience (of one of one thousand) in the eye, you come across as nervous and insincere. A reasonable period of eye contact is between 4 and 7 seconds at a time, per person, especially when you are talking to them.
Playing with your hands: Wringing your hands, or playing ‘fig leaf’ is a sure way of conveying insecurity about yourself or your message. And recently I was reminded by my Toastmasters club colleagues of a habit of mine that I need to break——twisting my wedding ring around my finger when I present. My colleagues found themselves focusing more on my ring-twiddling than my message.
Speaking too softly: A habit that is a sure sign in the eyes of others, that you are not confident about yourself, your message or your authority to deliver it. You come across as near-invisible, weak and insubstantial, as well as make yourself difficult to be heard by those who are hard of hearing. And as I get older, my hearing is definately getting worse—u—a legacy of spending years in front of PA stacks as a lighting manager for rock bands.
Using qualifying words: This is quite possibly one of the worst habits anyone could have. Absolutely nearly everyone qualifies their words, and most often the effect is to dilute the power and impact of your message. Seriously, using words such as “kind of”Free Web Content, “sort of” and “maybe” make even the smartest of us appear unsure.
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